Words at Gunpoint
by DireSphinx
Summary: Words, in their own way, are a lot like Russian Roulette.
1. Chapter 1

Don't own the Labyrinth. If I did, would I have had to take out that loan to pay for this year in Japan?

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Words are dangerously amusing.

I like to think of words as a sort of Russian Roulette. But instead of holding a barrel to your own head, it is your rival, your enemy's temple that feels the cold kiss of steel. So when you choose your right words, the results can, and usually are, disastrous. But as so often is the case, the wrong words are as dangerous as an unloaded gun. You've accomplished nothing but a misfire since the chambers weren't loaded anyway. Your ammo, your words were too insufficient, too weak to cause any damage. So one tries again and again, with new words and new phrases hoping for that resounding bang of success.

And yet, when you do come across the correct intonation, it is not only the spectators who feel your wrath. You the speaker suffer from the affects. The bullet may not have killed you, but it is sure to leave lasting scars. Not to mention the blood and brains take forever to wash out.

I find it funny how some can be so mislead by what they speak that they forget their barrels aren't always fully loaded. They are so sure their words are the right words that when they are wrong, they blind themselves to the truth. They hurt only themselves because they are so sure that the bullet has hit its mark. And the spectators watch on in silent amusement as the speakers make an ass of themselves, or in this case, herself.

I bet she never realized her gun was only shooting blanks. "My kingdom as great" - what a lie. She has no kingdom of her own so there can be no comparison. Maybe she meant metaphorically, maybe physically, but it is up to the audience to interpret, and I prefer to interpret at my own discretion. Otherwise, I might never have won.

Sure, she thinks her bullet has hit its mark. She thinks that this little parley is over, the game done. But no game of Russian Roulette ends until a gun fires. Words are up for the interpretation of the audience, correct? And 'you' is such a vague term. Why, it could mean practically anything. For all I know, she could have been addressing the granite pavement beneath her feet. I laugh every time I think of the phrase, her defiant stance, her bafflement at the sentence popping from her mouth, like she can't believe she came up with that answer and it's correct? I couldn't burst her little bubble...yet.

I'll wait a couple of years to show her the truth. I have all the time in the world, and it has been so long since a word game amused me so. It doesn't hurt that she'll have 'matured' in more ways than one during that time. It will make firing my own gun all the more sweeter. Besides, my barrel is never empty. What's the point of Russian Roulette if a bullet never strikes its target?


	2. Executing Control

Because so many wonderful reviewers have asked for more, and writing is so much more interesting than Japanese homework, here's a second chapter for you. Enjoy!

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But while I wait, there is a certain matter that demands my attention. A certain matter regarding three treasonous subjects and their actions against my omnipotent will. Surely they did not think defying the edicts of their king would go unpunished? And yet, considering the intellect of my subjects, I would not be surprised if this is the case. If they were intelligent beings, I would have dispensed with them at the start of my reign.

Intelligent people seem to have the idea that they can match wits with me, compare me to their equal. Thus the reason why I eradicated them from my domain. Messy, messy business. One cannot imagine how long it takes to eek out and exterminate thinking minds. Thoughts are dangerous, dangerous things to those in power. Especially the thoughts of others. How I am glad the Underground is filled with simpletons!

For it is well-known to those in command that control is key. Power comes and power goes, but control lasts forever. Control of the government is merely a stepping stone on the path to omnipotence. Rulers who find themselves content with mere superiority in the legislative sector soon discover their dominance washed away by a stream known as malcontent. The proletariats rise up, and anarchy reigns supreme.

The public sector is a lynch pin in this battle for supremacy. Gain control of the media, and the citizens can be herded like lambs to the slaughter. Monitor any and all interactions with outside influences, whether it be portraits, literature, drunken conversations across a bar stool. Any and all opportunities for words, thoughts to spread should be snipped before they can sprout wings and fly away to batter down on your doorstep at the thirteenth hour. Beings cannot yearn for what they do not know.

I myself find it much easier to lead by example. Fear is a powerful motivator, and weaknesses are meant to be exploited. Some may scoff at the idea of a bog of eternal stench, but what they do not know I can use to my advantage. A whisper here, a murmur there, and soon the whole kingdom is up in arms about what exactly causes eternal stench. Thus I, in my kingly generosity, volunteer to show the leading citizens how the bog came to be. Needless to say, after that little show and tell, no one wanted to come within 600 kilometers of the place. I should have thanked Vladimir for all those decomposing corpses, but that would have implied gratitude on my part. I humble myself before no one.

So yes, now we return to the crux of the matter. There are three beings and one mutt rotting away in my dungeons for daring to defy me. By all rights, they should be skinned alive and boiled in Goblin ale, and then all my citizens should be forced to drink the foul concoction as a warning to never go against my wishes. I ought to torture them for thirteen days and thirteen nights, until their throats run red and their eyes grow black with gangrene. But what I am going to do with them is so much worse...

You think me cruel Sarah? Just wait until it's your turn.


	3. Prey

Okay, "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" signal. This is slightly disturbing. I am not responsible for any nightmares that may result after reading this chapter. You have been warned. Now enjoy!

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**Prey**

Hmmm. Six months already? My, how time flies. Perhaps I should look in on my prey...oh, excuse me, I mean "champion." A king should always be politically correct, as you mortals say. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, now would I? But then again, there are no subjects here with emotions to hurt. So, "prey" it shall be.

Ah yes, there's the misguided fool, laughing and joyful, playing with my property. Those gorgeous lips, that brilliant smile, with nary a care in the world. These few months have been more than kind to her, wouldn't you agree Sir Didymus? Ah, but that new eye patch isn't exactly conductive to seeing, now is it? Higgle, what's this? Trying to speak out are you? Well come on man, speak up. I haven't got all day. Is there a frog in your throat? A cat got your tongue? More like a Firey, more likely. Nasty creatures, always pulling everything apart. They are like toddlers with a new toy – let's see how we can break it.

But I have to hand it to the Fireys, they do save me the trouble of dirtying my own hands. You do realize that if it wasn't for them, I would have cut out your tongue myself? I couldn't possibly have you running off to warn my prey, now could I? If there is one thing I have learned as king, it is that cowards always run, on both legs and tongue. If one wants to stop a coward, one must cut off their means of escape – any escape. Waggling tongues can be just as liberating as two fast feet. And I just hate having to clean up the aftermath. It is always better to act before the tide can turn, or coward can flee. Pick your cliché.

Plus, you had the audacity to darken my name. Damn me indeed, shall you? Well, here's a taste of your own damnation. I wonder how damnation tastes without a tongue. Is it sweet? Or abhorrently bitter? No need to answer right away. Please, take your time. We have all the time in the world, you and me. All the time in the world. And let's not forget my ability to reorder time. So I don't need to know right away. It's something I can look forward to in the coming years...

You did ask for it, you know. "Damn you Jareth, and damn me too." What's said is said. And I'm sure a Jareth somewhere in the Underground is suffering as well. You really must be more specific in your wording. Consider this a learning experience. I know I'm learning all sorts of interesting things. Did you know that your right arm had twenty-seven bones? I counted every single one as I picked your meat off the bone. It was really quite tasty – I'll have to add roasted dwarf to the royal diet.

And fox eyeballs, quite surprisingly, make terrific bouncy balls. Why, during that last go-around, I made a record breaking thirty-three bounces with one heave-ho. Oh Sir Didymus, don't look at me like that. One would think you couldn't see at all with that pout. Cheer up old man, for today is the start of a brand new day. Bask in the unlimited possibilities. I know I am.

Why, look at Ludo over there. Well no, you can't, but just picture him if you will. He's got a wonderful smile on his face stretching from ear to ear. Granted, it did require the use of two rusty saw blades – it's amazing what cosmetic surgery can accomplish nowadays – and there was the unfortunate loss of his tongue, but I would have the say the end result is simply superb. Wouldn't you agree Huggle? Huggle? Now Huggle, Ludo isn't in that direction. You need to turn your head the other way. Shall I help you? Ah, not so fast, not so fast. There's no need to give yourself whiplash. Wouldn't want to start off the day with a crick in your neck. It ruins the whole day. Don't want to start off on the wrong foot, now do we?

Carpe Diem gentlemen. Seize the day! Don't you want to enjoy every single moment life has to offer? Look at Sarah here. She's certainly enjoying herself. See how she smiles and laughs? It's almost like she has no idea what dire straits her 'friends' are in. Like she doesn't even remember you. And really, who'd want to remember chits like you. I don't blame her in the least. She's making the most of her day. Why don't you gents follow in her footsteps? The entertainment possibilities for all of us are simply limitless. I know! Let's play a game. How does that sound? Here, I'll start.

Shining, shining crystal ball, who's the damnedest prey of all?


End file.
